doctornerdington

You GUYS. It's been so long since I've finished a writing project. Since before my separation, so 18 months at least? But it's finally, finally starting to come around again, and it feels amazing. In the past week or so: 

• I wrote and posted a fic
• I finished draft 1 of a personal essay
• I've got another project in edits right now, to be announced

My brain is back, baby! 

Here's the fic: Opportunities We've Had Along the Way. It's a little Good Omens one-shot about Aziraphale's love of books, and Crowley's anxiety about it, and love, and choice, and things like that. Dr. Alan Hart makes an appearance. There's food. And booze. I had so much fun writing it. Oh! There's a section where A&C get drunk and start talking over each other at cross-purposes, and it was such an incredibly joyful writing experience. I'm a happy, happy hack this week. 

Really want to get draft 2 of the essay hammered out (I'll post it on here, friends-locked or whatever it's called, but I also hope to publish it somewhere, eventually). But work is probably going to eat up the rest of the week. 

In the last month or so, I've had 3 trips (two via lengthy flights, and one chaperoning a pre-teen camping trip). Now I'm finally settled back in at home, and I'm predictably sick and tired. Yesterday I went to yoga and I assume I had quite a nice nap because I remember doing exactly 4 poses, and then suddenly class was over. Oops. My body hurts. My throat hurts. My face hurts. I have to give a presentation in 19 minutes. 

I've stolen this from hbbo, although apparently I'm late to the party. On brand! I haven't posted anything on AO3 since August because divorce, but it's fun to do writing-adjacent tasks. 

I have 49 works posted on AO3. 

What’re your first and second most common work ratings?
Explicit (14)
General audiences (14)

Huh. That's a lot more GA than I would have expected but it looks like most of them are 221Bs, which I was really into for a while. 

What’s your most common archive warning?
No Archive Warnings Apply (41)

Least common?
Major Character Death (1).  

Do you consider yourself an adventurous writer?
I think so? Mostly, I write to challenge myself, on terms I set myself, and to not be bored. So it's usually an adventure for me, regardless of what readers think. A few times I've tried to write sequels for stuff that has been popular with readers, but I've usually worked out whatever was challenging and interesting in the first place by then, so the sequels aren't "adventurous" for me, and I get bored, and the work isn't as good. 

How many stories have you made in each pairing category?

Is this more accidental, or do you have preferences?

It hasn't been a deliberate choice to focus on m/m, but I don't think we can say that a focus on m/m ships is "accidental," either. I started out writing johnlock, which is still near and dear to my heart, but I definitely want to write more f/f if and when my brain starts writing again. (When. When.) 

What are your top 4 fandoms by numbers?

Are you still active in any of them, and do you tend to migrate a lot?
I'm still active in Sherlock insomuch as it remains my fandom home (I'm going to 221B Con in a few weeks!). I'd definitely say I'm not as active as I once was, and that I'm more a fan of my little corner of fandom than I am of the show itself. I've got a johnlock WIP sort of half written right now, but after that I don't have huge plans for more writing in that fandom (although you never know). I think I've mostly worked out what I needed to work out, and learned what I needed to learn from it, as per the adventurous writer question above. I dabble with other fandoms, but I haven't immersed myself in anything else (yet?).

What are your top 4 relationship tags?

Does this match how you feel about the characters, or are you puzzled?
That's about right, although Molly/Greg is almost always a background ship for me. I don't think I've ever written them in a particularly thoughtful or central way. I wouldn't suggest reading my stuff for that ship. Oh, and my Mary/John is always sort of queer/poly. 

What are your top 2 most used additional tags, and your bottom 2?
Top Two:

Bottom (three-way tie):What would happen if you combined all 4 of these into a fic?
Ahahaha. I guess The Yellow and the Black would happen.  

How many WIPs do you have currently running on AO3? Any you don’t plan on finishing?
Our Secret Life is the only fic I've got marked as unfinished, but that one very deliberately avoids a narrative arc and each chapter can stand alone pretty well. It's only unfinished because I reserve the right to add to it one day. No current plans to, though. 

I'm supposed to be doing my household budget right now, but there are only so many ways I can divide 0 and come up with two US trips in the next month, so I have resigned myself to financial chaos and here I am. I've had an interesting fan/nerd experience this week. My eldest son is crazy for Yugioh: show, game, cards, books, etc. He makes fan art, and coordinates a club at school, etc etc etc. He's deeply, gratifyingly, movingly nerdy about it. Somehow, he discovered a regular Yugioh night at a local gaming store, and begged me to take him. He has also been struggling mightily with anxiety lately, and is very shy, so for him to ask this is a Big Deal, and it felt important for me to support him. 

Anyway, we went this week, and I was pretty worried that it was going to be disastrous. It was a room full of adults (young, but definitely not kids), most of whom seemed to know each other, and they were pretty boisterous, and all men. I was super uncomfortable. It didn't feel like a welcoming place for a kid and his mom to hang out, and I wasn't really sure if it was appropriate for me to be asking that of them, you know? Not my fan space; I have no idea about the norms.

But man! Those nerds were great! We got my kid registered, and people showed him how the setup works, and he played his games (and lost), and in between rounds people asked him if he wanted to play extra games with them, and they were super socially awkward but so is my kid, and it was so good for him! He was so happy afterwards, and so proud of himself that he'd done it! My nerd mom heart was ready to burst. 

So anyway. Thanks for being kind to my kid, Yugioh dudes. It meant a lot to him (me too).  

 Yeah, no. Nope. Another difficult parenting day, which I think I pulled off okay in the end, but ugh. My poor, dear, wonderful, hurting babies. I waiver between "life is shitty but we're in it together and that makes us so lucky" and "oh jesus christ, I've ruined my kids' lives." 

I mean. It's probably a bit of both. 

We'll get through. I know. I know. 

Anyway, no writing today, but whatever. I made sauerkraut instead, and then cuddled with the kids and watched Simpsons reruns. We all needed it. So tired. Blue Planet time. 

Three pages in personal (paper) journal, speculating on some likely sort of existential reasons for stalling out on novel 2, and possibly productive ways to think myself through it? I mean, who knows. Feels kind of good, though.

I'm making a big effort to sneakily reduce screen time in my household (especially for the boys). One thing we're doing is some family reading/writing/art/piano time every night, although I don't call it that. And probably because I'm being low-key about it, overall it's going well. Right now I spend the time working through CBT exercises with kid 1, but I'm thinking it will eventually give me time for writing/reading, too. As it is, I'm finding the 45 minutes between the boys' bedtime and their lights-out time, when they're reading silently in their beds, is good writing time for me. It's quiet, I'm relaxed, but not yet unconscious. 

I haven't written much since... oh, since A Land So Wild, really. Gah. I'm starting to feel really awful about it, and terrified that I won't be able to write anything EVER AGAIN. Thanks, brain, that helps a lot. I've got a couple of WIPs started (one short and solo, one long and collaborative), and one big novel (stalled out), but I haven't made progress. And I've had good reasons. Life reasons. Leaving my husband has taken (and continues to take) a shit ton of emotional and mental energy to process. Parenting has subsequently become pretty intense, as well; my eldest is struggling with significant anxiety, and needs a lot of care and support. And lately, I've had some mental fogginess and depression symptoms that make me feel like I'm thinking through syrup. It's not good, and I miss my writing self. I want her back. 

So, okay. I'm going to make it happen. (I'm afraid I won't be able to write anything worthwhile, but? I will try?) I'm starting with a seven-day challenge, and I'll report here every day for accountability. (Added bonus? Actually using my dreamwidth account!) This week, my only goal is to write something every day. Doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't have to be worthwhile -- that's not the point right now. It just has to be words on paper (or screen). An unspecified number. But some. Every. Day. 

Here I go. 

Hi, friends! Hoping we can find each other here (and/or elsewhere), post-tumblr mayhem. Don't have a clue how to use this site yet, but I'll get there. Drop me a line! Or friend me! Or follow me! Or whatever you do here! I'll do it back! xoxo